Why I don't want my Miscarriage to be a Secret.

It's been quite some time since I last posted. I started slacking mostly because I never chose to share the story of our miscarriage. I'm not sure why I chose not to... It's not something I'm ashamed of by any means, I guess I'm just worried about the influx of sympathy causing a relapse of painful feelings.
I've been doing really really well emotionally. But then on Thursday night, it dawned on me that today would be exactly 1 year from the day we found out our first baby passed away. That stirred up some emotions, but what hit me hard was that today was also my baby shower for my Rainbow Baby. So of course, that brought on an onslaught of emotions and I cried for the first time in quite a while.
The great news is, I'm 31 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. The other awesome news is that due to the love and support of all of our friends and family, our dining room is currently overran with so much baby stuff that it's exhausting just to think about going through all of it and organizing it.
In the long run, having my shower today, helped me keep my mind off of sad memories.

So, on to why I decided to finally share the news of Baby Sanna #1.

This video popped up on one of my miscarriage/rainbow baby support groups:

I came across it the same day I realized that today would be 1 year anniversary of learning of our baby's passing. It made me cry even harder. And finally I remembered why I wanted to make this blog in the first place.
This blog was not only to share about my current pregnancy, or even to share about my miscarriage. It was created for anyone out there that also dealt with, or is dealing with a miscarriage. It's to let them know that they aren't alone. So many women have gone through a miscarriage, but so little choose to share that information, for many different reasons. And that's totally fine, because I personally have been there. I've contemplated it for so so long, and finally I feel comfortable sharing it. I'm not looking for sympathy by any means. In fact, sympathy just makes me more sad. I simply want other women to know that there is hope. One day your feelings of extreme emptiness and severe sadness will get better. It will likely never ever go away completely, but it will get better. It may take months, it may take years, it may take decades, but it will get better. And please remember that you are not alone.

On another note, here's some images from our baby girl's ultrasound! This is from our 20 week anatomy scan. We get to have another ultrasound on 7/24. I can't wait to see how big she's gotten!

Only 8 weeks and 3 days left til our due date!